Princess

15 years ago today I was given a late Christmas present. 

A present that I still cherish to this very day. 

Ya see, most kids get puppies for Christmas..

Well, I must of been extra naughty nice in 1997 because Santa gave me a sister!

Princess,

You're loud and opinionated.

You speak your mind. 

You have to have the last word.

You have to look pretty at all times. 

But you're you. 

And I wouldn't have it any other way. 

I'm so blessed to be your sister. 

I am so proud of you. 

I will always always always be your #1 fan. 

(Even if Burk thinks he is...he's not.)

You were my first best friend. 

And always will be.

Happy 15th birthday.

I love you more than you could ever imagine.  

Guardian Angel: Cody Addition

This is one of those posts that everyone just dreads. 

I dread writing it.

You dread reading it.
But it seems like everyone's needing it right about now. 

***

To put it simply sometimes things just suck. 

And there's nothing we can do but try our darndest to make it not suck as bad. 

But in the end it still just sucks. 

It's been almost a year.
A whole year since we gathered to celebrate your life.
And I still feel like I should see you around town.
Or run into you at the store.
Or hear you say "Woah, Jeff Gordon" when I take the corner a little too sharp.
Or see you wearing those goofy diamond S earrings.

And I still feel like the summer we all spent together was yesterday.

Oh the trouble y'all got me into.

Still wondering why I agreed to play that game? 

Or why I ended up stranded in a the middle of a nasty pond fully clothed?
But it was the funnest summer.
Ever.

I think it helped me come out of my shell.
So I'm giving you credit. Well, you and Mrs. Davis of course.
But you my friend, showed me that being quiet is overrated.
So, thanks.
Thanks for letting me be a part of your life.
And most of all thanks for being you.


RIP Cody/MacDaddy/Stud.
I miss you.











To Carie, Mike, and Cory,

There are a list of things I could say.
But words are words.
Just know you're not alone.
We miss him too.


With all my love,
Ashlyn

Thankful.

Do you ever get that feeling? Ya know the one where you just want to step out of reality and push the pause button? Maybe even rewind a little. But then you're forced to realize that it's not possible. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not ever. Reality will always be reality and time will never stop. I'm feeling that today.

I just want to push pause. Take a minute to soak everything in. So much has changed these last few months. I can't say I like it. I can't say it wasn't for the better. I can't really say anything. I'm speechless. I guess I just haven't had a chance to process it all.

Sometimes life gets in the way. So much is happening all at once that everything becomes a blur. We look over the small things and push away the bad. We focus on the small picture and forget about the big. And eventually we become overwhelmed.
That's where I'm at. 

I've pushed everything away for so long that I'm overwhelmed. My newest reality isn't exactly how I pictured it. It's actually far from it. Like millions and millions of miles from it. I never thought I'd be one of those kids. But I am. And it's going to be okay. It may not be the picture I was painting in my mind but it's the picture God's had painted all along.

It's easy to get caught up in life and forget to just be thankful. When I started this post that's exactly where I was. So caught up in my own sob story that I wasn't even thankful. I was mad; sad. I even had the annoying "why me" outlook on everything. My heart just hurt.
I realized I was that person. The one with a chip on my shoulder. The one with a short fuse. The one who wanted to just skip out of town. That's were I was. And I was missing out.

Missing out on precious time that I will never get back. I'll only live in the same house as my siblings for so long. Hearing Sweet Boy say "Dashie" at the top of his lungs will be a thing of the past. We're getting older everyday. Just thinking about that makes me sad. A happy sad but sad. The point is life goes on. Whether we want it to or not. Life.Goes.On.

So stop and think. Are you thankful? Are you truly soaking in every moment?

I miss you: High School Addition

High School. 

The dreaded transition.

Leaving the top of one totem pole to start over at the bottom of another. 

The times when boys lose their cooties and girls become pretty.

When getting your license becomes your top priority. 

When finding the perfect dress for prom seemed impossible.

And then, in the blink of an eye, you're standing on the top of that totem pole.

You're a senior. 

The years that seemed to drag on for a lifetime feel like yesterday. 

But the year ahead feels like it will last forever. 

But just as the years before, summer fades to fall and the time begins to fly. 

And before you even have a chance to really soak it all in you're walking across the stage. 

Fact is: I miss high school. 

I know that it's ridiculous. But it's the truth.

I miss having to get up way too early to go sit in a classroom full of kids that I've known for years. I miss walking the halls with the people who knew me. I miss trying to hide my cell phone in Mr. Bos' class. I miss trying to discretely chew gum around Mrs. Davis. I miss whining to Reynolds. I miss having girl talk with Mrs. Sweet. I miss telling Mr. Smith that he was awesome. I miss making my famous sopapilla cheesecake for the best staff in the world. 

I miss telling Doug to shut up. 

I miss being able to see my best friend everyday. 

I miss having college with these guys. 

I miss telling Dylan to wake up and answer the professors questions.

I miss arguing with Scott about who was more awesome. (I mean clearly I was and still am) I miss sneaking into the band room to listen to Michael, Micah, and Brandon play music. 

I miss Taylor being my lunch buddy. My constant friend I know will always be there.

I miss stressing out over Beta with Cameron. 

(I seriously think he was the only one that kept me sane and it was all totally worth it in the end) 

I miss Joanie always singing way too loud. And A.Muss for liking Chil.li's. 

I miss Amber always being my math buddy. 

I miss Paige just because she was Paige and could always make me smile. 

I miss you even if I didn't mention your name specifically. I miss being the annoying one that always wanted to take way too many pictures at every.single.event. I miss it all.

These people, my classmates, were more than just some random kids. They were like an extended family. An extended family that was never really extended until a couple years ago. 

I miss you guys.

{Just an example of how I'm more awesome. I mean look at that}

Sending you all my love and best wishes. 

***

Dear Seniors of the future,

I know you've waited for this year forever. To finally be that class at the top of the totem pole. I know. I know people have been pounding it in your head that it will go by fast and blah blah blah. And I know you don't believe it. But trust me. It really does go by in the blink of an eye. More like in half a blink. I've been there. 9 months is a lifetime when you're little. But the older you get the quicker time flies. 9 months is now going to feel like 9 seconds rather than 9 years. I promise. Embrace it. Live up your senior year. You won't get it again. Ever. (Unless you fail. And if you fail, well, then I suggest you write a blog post about being a senior for the second time around and let me know how that goes for ya.)

Good luck.

In memory of Cody McMorris.

MacDaddy I bet you're getting a kick up there watching me be Jeff Gordan! But you know what? Just hush it! 

You will always be in our hearts. 

RIP.

Writing Prompt: Brooke.

I love blog surfing. I've read quite a few blogs in my day. You know before the Pinterest era? When you had to google craft ideas? Yes? Or maybe that was just me..

Recently I stumbled upon Little Miss Momma's blog. Love it. It's one of those blogs that has the perfect mixture of "real life" and craftiness. I mean what could be better than that? It's basically all you'd ever need under one URL. She inspired me to start my own blog. So if you haven't read her blog, I highly recommend it!

Last week LMM gave her readers a writing prompt. A blog post about your best friend.


This is Brooke.

My best friend/cousin.

From the moment we met we were best friends.

We just click. 

Who else would I have played babies with until I was 12? Okay maybe 13..or 14. 

{Shush! It was just preparing us for our futures!}

She's the kinda person that stays up late just to make sure she's the first one to tell you happy birthday. 

Who sends you a "Happy Mother's Day" text even though you're not a mother. 

Who listens to your life.

And who can make practically any situation funny.

A while back we did, or we attempted, to do the Best Friend Tag. 

FAIL.

But one of the questions was "Describe each other in one word."

I had a hard time with this one.

Trying to describe someone in one word is tough. 

Especially someone like Brooke. 

But I think I finally found a word.

Genuine.

She means what she says.

She doesn't try to be someone else.

She's just Brooke. 

And I admire that.

She's more than my cousin.

She's my best friend.

She knows me.

She makes me step out of my box.

And for that I will always be grateful. 

And with all that said I'll end the this blog with Brooke's motto: 

 "Go with the flow and YOLO"

Blessed

So in the beginning this blog post was suppose to be about my summer..

But in the middle of writing I got a phone call. It made me realize that this blog post was headed in the wrong direction. Yeah, I had a crappy summer but I am blessed beyond words. 

I was in the middle of writing this really sappy blog about how crappy my summer was and blah blah blah when my phone rings. It was my Aunt. She called simply to ask if I wanted to get a new pair of shoes for school. As I hung up the phone my eyes filled with tears. Emotional wreck? Probably so! But it made me realize something. 

I am so blessed. 

The phone call itself was so simple but it meant the world to me. It put everything back into perspective. Even when everything in your life seems to be falling apart. When your world is crumbling underneath you. Always remember that someone cares. 

So shout out to my favorite Aunt. Thank you for being such a blessing! I am so blessed to be your niece!

This week was full of blessings. 

I got all my school stuff situated. Or well, most of it. 

I got 4 more kiddos to babysit. {I'm super excited yet nervous for all that.}

And I've realized that overall the good always outweighs the bad.
Have you counted your blessings today?

Oh, and speaking of blessed; I had a little helper while I wrote this post! He is definitely one of my many blessing. One day I'll post his story but until then just look at that sweet face. My Sweet Boy<3

P.S. Shout out to my new reader! Sorry this wasn't up before you went to bed; procrastination at its finest! ((:

Moooooooom!

Today is a very special person's birthday.

Well I assume it's a lot of special person's birthday.. 

But it's my special person's birthday today too. 

So this lady, I've known for quite sometime; or well all of my almost 20-something years of life. She was actually at the hospital the day I was born. Crazy, I know! She goes by the name "Mom" or sometimes "Mum" or even "Mother". She just answers. I guess that's what happens when you have like 20 kids, okay only 6, but you catch my drift. 

**RUNS OUT TO CAR TO GET CARD BECAUSE I FORGOT TO GIVE IT TO HER**

Yes, that happened. I bought the card and then forgot to give it to her. I even bought her milk duds.. but umm, they were left in the car too. {Mind you its mid August..in Texas..} Great daughter, I know. It's the thought that counts...right?

But okay so anyway, back to the birthday blogpost. 

Moooooom,

{Read that the way I say it that annoys you} 

You know I always procrastinate. It's like it's in my blood or something (; But yeah. 

It's your birthday. I can't believe you're 21..again..for the 18th time! Sheesh! 

I love you. I know that sometimes dealing with Princess' attitude, arguing with Karebear about boys, seeing all the horrifying pictures B-Rae posts on Facebook, listening to Little Miss Sassy's sassy attitude, Sweet Boy being not so sweet, and my overall greatness all in one night can be a bit overwhelming but somehow you manage. {Woo, that was a long sentence! I don't even think it made much sense but you're Mom, so you get it!} And all the while you kept the laundry going. Super Mom? Maybe next year I should get you a cape? Oh the ideas. Hmm.

Basically what I'm trying to say is:

You are appreciated. 

You are loved.

You are our Super Mom.

Happy Birthday! 

I love you to the moon, through the stars, and ALL the way back. 

P.S. It's 11:59. Just in time. BAM!

Meet:

 If you've read my About Me, you know I'm the oldest. And being a big sister is a big part of who I am. Well, who am I kidding? It is who I am. The next 5 people I introduce are the 5 most important people in my life.

Meet: Princess

She will hate me for choosing Princess as her blog name but it just fits her. Despite the fact she looks 18, she's far from it. She's got an amazing voice that she doesn't use nearly enough. She's got this tough exterior that's almost intimidating. But she can be a softy at times. She always gets the last word. She's my Pretty Little Liars buddy. She very independent. She's my favorite first little sister.

Meet: Karebear

The middle child. She's got boys falling at her feet. She's very laid back. She's never home. She's a sleepy head. She has naturally wavy hair which makes me jealous. She has a way with kids. She's not a fan of TV but she loves Facebook. She does this hilariously creepy "cookie monster" voice. She's the clown of the family. She'll try anything. She can't spell for her life! She's quite good at softball. She's my favorite middle sister.

Meet: B-Rae

She's gotta laugh that is so loud and obnoxious that it's contagious. She's loud yet misunderstood. She likes to read. She writes her own songs. She can beat you at just about any game on the wii. She's a softball diva. She's an animal lover. She's claustrophobic like me. She says she is going to make me "fake famous" so I can marry Mike Trout and she can have a famous brother-in-law. She's my favorite 3rd little sister.

Meet: Little Miss Sassy

This girl. She has an ATTITUDE. She's so sassy that's it's just too darn cute. She's my mini-me. She likes to craft. She seeks attention. She spills a drink at least twice a day. She loves to go to Goodwill. She helps me clean. She wants to "stay in Pre-K forever". She draws sweet pictures just because she loves you. She likes to have her nails painted with glitter polish. She's my favorite baby sister.

Meet: Sweet Boy

He's my surprise sibling; the brother I thought I'd never have. His smile melts my heart. He does this "sweet boy" smile {like the one in the picture} that can seriously turn my day around. He's adopted. Spoiled rotten is an understatement and it's all my fault. He loves to eat. He doesn't like meat just like me. He loves anything sweet. He gives the best kisses. He likes to turn the lights on and off. He's a climber. He has an arm like a professional baseball player. {I have high expectations!} He is everything I could ask for in a brother. 

If you've ever wondered what it would be like to have a big family you've come to the right place. It's not always easy. We are definitely not the Brady bunch. Our laundry room is never empty. Our floors are always sticky. Our house is never "clean". But there's always love. Sometimes it's tough love but there's always love. 

So now I can get this whole journal mess started.