Friday, September 21, 2012


Do you ever get that feeling? Ya know the one where you just want to step out of reality and push the pause button? Maybe even rewind a little. But then you're forced to realize that it's not possible. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not ever. Reality will always be reality and time will never stop. I'm feeling that today.

I just want to push pause. Take a minute to soak everything in. So much has changed these last few months. I can't say I like it. I can't say it wasn't for the better. I can't really say anything. I'm speechless. I guess I just haven't had a chance to process it all.

Sometimes life gets in the way. So much is happening all at once that everything becomes a blur. We look over the small things and push away the bad. We focus on the small picture and forget about the big. And eventually we become overwhelmed.
That's where I'm at. 

I've pushed everything away for so long that I'm overwhelmed. My newest reality isn't exactly how I pictured it. It's actually far from it. Like millions and millions of miles from it. I never thought I'd be one of those kids. But I am. And it's going to be okay. It may not be the picture I was painting in my mind but it's the picture God's had painted all along.

It's easy to get caught up in life and forget to just be thankful. When I started this post that's exactly where I was. So caught up in my own sob story that I wasn't even thankful. I was mad; sad. I even had the annoying "why me" outlook on everything. My heart just hurt.
I realized I was that person. The one with a chip on my shoulder. The one with a short fuse. The one who wanted to just skip out of town. That's were I was. And I was missing out.

Missing out on precious time that I will never get back. I'll only live in the same house as my siblings for so long. Hearing Sweet Boy say "Dashie" at the top of his lungs will be a thing of the past. We're getting older everyday. Just thinking about that makes me sad. A happy sad but sad. The point is life goes on. Whether we want it to or not. Life.Goes.On.

So stop and think. Are you thankful? Are you truly soaking in every moment?

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